How to create healthy boundaries and say no when you mean it

I used to be the type of person who said yes to things she really meant to say no to, and that was hurting me a lot because I made decisions that led me to take actions that were not good for my soul and hurt my soul deeply.

So the first thing that helped me shift this, was desiring to shift it. – desire is powerful!

And the next really helpful step was praying that I can shift it, and believing I will receive help.

I decided that even if my voice was trembling and shaking, I would still say no when I needed to.

And so now I am a person who can say no to almost anyone and any situation.

I held my ex-boyfriend outside in the cold, with him trying any tactic on Earth to try to seduce me and get inside and I still said no.

And this is all because I realized that even if by saying no I’m perceiving the other person to get hurt, if I say yes, I hurt myself. So I decided to put myself first.

Alignment to self is more important than what other people say, do or think, because by feeling great inside with our decisions, we heal other people, too.

Even if when we say no, the other person gets seemingly hurt, they might have a lesson to learn from that pain. Because life is not without pain, that is impossible. But the lessons we learn from that pain are also valuable.

So if you want to say no, but are afraid you might hurt another, know that you are not hurting, but helping.

What you seek is seeking you, so if your truth is a no, you will be mesmerized how quickly people will actually accept it, when you really mean it and say it assuredly.

Do what you want in life! You only have one life, at least with this character you’re playing now and these circumstances.

Don’t do what others want you to do, unless it feels good to you. Otherwise you are hurting yourself!

And you are a very special, important human being. Why would you accept being treated badly or doing something that does not feel good to you?

Believe in your worth, affirm that you have a lot of self worth and you matter and you will never let anyone step on you ever again!

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Admit defeat to your limiting beliefs!

One quick and easy way to get rid of a limiting belief is to affirm the belief, as it is believed by you already, as if it were absolutely true – even though it isn’t necessarily, but it also is, since The Universe is non-dual, therefore the truth is in both the polarities of one belief.

Let me explain! Since what I wrote there – I’m not sure it might even make even sense to me were I to read it without knowing what I meant.

If you believe you’re ‘stupid”, but you want to make yourself believe you’re smart, so as to change your self-concept to a better one, with better beliefs, you must first admit the first belief – that you are stupid. Not because you are, but because you believe it.

If all you desire in your life is to be smart, and you run around chasing that, trying to get validation from everybody, not getting it (obviously, because you don’t believe it) – you will sigh a deep sigh of relaxation when you finally admit it – “I am stupid!”.

You will kiss the Earth and jump of joy in disbelief. It was so simple! To admit it in this case, is to say – I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m stupid, I already admitted it to myself, therefore, what and whom have I got to lose?

If people will call me stupid, I won’t feel even the tiniest bit triggered, since I’ve admitted it, so I have nothing to hide.

Again, it doesn’t mean the guy or girl in the example is actually stupid. He/she just had a belief that said that, and instead of admitting, he/she tried to prove themselves as smart.

Now that they’ve admitted, it’s much easier to see and admit the opposite – that they are, indeed, smart. They can suddenly see all the ways in which they are smart.

Now to explain a bit about the last part of the first paragraph I wrote here in this post, just to make a paranthesis.

This world is dual (good/bad, ugly/beautiful, stupid/smart, white/black), but God, or Source is non-dual, therefore to get closer to the truth of who we really are, we must encompass all the polarities. Therefore we must know and accept ourselves as both stupid and smart, beautiful and ugly, light and dark, good and bad.

Think about that for a moment.

Now to go back to the subject of the post, admitting defeat to our limiting beliefs, we can do that to any belief.

Let’s say our deepest desire was to become rich. But because we are not there yet, we certainly are seeing ourselves as poor in one way or another. Even if we are not poor per se, the belief is there.

Same goes with unworthiness. “I am unworthy of riches, unworthy of love”, unworthy of this or that.

And suddenly a whole world opens up. A world where it’s comfortable to sit in our mud for a little bit and just contemplate our beliefs from their own point of view, and therefore point of attraction.

Because, of course, what we believe, even subconsciously, we attract. So the more we believe those negative things, the more we attract them.

So go ahead, what belief have you uncovered today that you can turn around?

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