Self love used to be an elusive phrase to me, I used to feel grossed out by myself and my body and hate myself and feel lots of shame and guilt about the way I acted towards the ones I loved in the past.
I asked spirit to show me what self love was and how it felt. I even asked about it in a Facebook group I was in.
I received many great answers, however none stayed with me as this one: practice saying ‘i love you’ to whatever arises within your awareness.
And so I did. I closed my eyes. “I love you darkness”. All sorts of feelings arose within me “I love you feelings arising within me. I love you skin, I love you touch, I love you body..”.
I continued like this with everything inside and outside of me, until I could feel only love. Forced myself to love everything.
I realized that saying “I love you, Dona” as many times as I could remember to do it throughout the day was more helpful than not saying it at all.
Touching my heart chakra in my chest also helped me connect back to my heart, my center.
The power of self-touch also helped me immensely. Whenever I felt sad, I would caress myself, my skin, my hair, and wherever I didn’t like my body, I would touch and say “I love you” to that part until I could feel it, no matter how shameful or awkward it felt at first.
Taking care of myself and putting myself first, my feel-good, above anyone and anything else, made me know that whenever I am happy, I can also give, but I can’t give from a space of lack. Knowing that helped.
Also learning about non-duality, accepting both the dark and the light within ourselves was important. I realized it’s ok to sit with these darker aspects and feelings and love them, too, as they are a part of me and they won’t go away if I push them away, but they will get alchemized when I accept and embrace them. Just feel it all.
None of us are pure light or pure dark, nothing is just black or white. The Yin and Yang are a perfect example of this. We are not just good or just bad. We must learn to embrace all of our facets, and all the colors between our black and whites.
Self love comes hand in hand with self care. Considering yourself a precious thing that must be given all of the self care possible and taking care that you always feel good might be something you procrastinate on at first, but I promise you, doing something small every day to take care of yourself and your well-being, will, in time, yield beautiful results.
And if no one told you today, you are beautiful!
The way you talk to yourself is also important. Do you call yourself ugly/good for nothing/worthless? That’s not self love. Try changing the way you talk to yourself by picking the highest words possible (that have the highest light in them), even if you don’t necessarily feel they are true. Just pick high vibratory words and keep calling yourself that, even journal them every day and you will see your confidence skyrocket.
Write positive love-letters to yourself, hide them and read them after a month or two, to make a fun game out of it.
Listen to self love music and heart chakra frequencies on Youtube:
Remember, repetition is very important, so repeating newly-forming beliefs every day is also important. For example, Dylan James has affirmations you can listen to overnight for at least 21 night in a row to change your self-concept:
Also, affirming “everybody loves me, everybody thinks I’m cute and amazing” can make you feel more loved, because your teaching your subconscious that you’re also receiving praise, love and appreciation from the exterior.
Even if that hasn’t been the case, you can train your subconscious to think it was, so you never again feel like you lack love from others. Feeling loved can make you feel more self-love, too.
Remember, Divinity always loves you, no matter what you think you did or didn’t do wrong, so just by knowing that, you can feel more self-love, because you are already loved, now, so it’s easier to feel it.
Last but not least, embracing our emotions can help us feel more self-love.
Pushing them away creates pain and suffering, but truly feeling them, no matter how bad they feel, can help you alchemize them. into better feeling emotions.
I hope this article helped, and if it has and you feel called to do so, leave me a small donation: