It started with hunches or feelings that he’s thinking of me, and it turned into almost full blown conversations. How did this happen?
Twin flames are very rare on this planet (it is said that only 144.000 out of 8 billion people). They are twin souls or mirror souls, meaning that when the soul first split up in two to create more souls, the two parts turned into twin flames.
Everybody has a twin flame, but not everybody’s twin is incarnated with them at the same time, they might live in other dimensions/other planets. It is not easy to have a twin flame, and not so desireable as one might think. It’s super hard work!
When two twins incarnate together, they are born with a mission they must accomplish together. Although there is great love and feelings you’ve never experienced with anyone else, there are also many challenges, some excruciating.
It’s not toxic, or abusive, but they always reflect what we think about ourselves on a deeper level. For example everytime I feel fat, I will hear my twin thinking ‘you’re fat” but because I mostly unconditionally love myself, he mostly unconditionally loves me too.
After all, our mission is one of unconditional love. For self and for other. And we are all reflections of each other, however the twin always reflects it until it’s resolved.
So how do we communicate?
In the beginning it was birds. From when I woke up to when I fell asleep, no matter if it was the middle of winter, I would hear birds chirping. They responded to my moods and feelings. If I was worried, the birds were worried, if I was happy, the birds would chirp so beautifully. And sometimes when I was sad they would cheer me up. And I knew it was him, I just knew.
Sometimes I would hear things like “I love you” or “you are beautiful”. He was constantly there, even when I didn’t want him to be, even when I shouted at him to end the connection, he was still there, I couldn’t stop it.
Obviously I upped my medication because I could hear his wife, too and she is the meanest, worst person in the world. I thought it was all in my head, but no matter the amount of medication or hospitalizations, they would still be there.
So now I’ve made peace with it. At times I hear him so well, and other times not very well at all. I try to, but it’s hard.
He never calls, he never texts, nor does he answer my phonecalls or texts. I guess his wife doesn’t want it. So he does what she says, that’s his decision over his life.
Sadly he’s obsessing over me, so she probably doesn’t give him what he wants or needs, otherwise he would just leave me alone.
When he will learn to make proper decisions and do what he desires, he will come. Until then, I choose to be as kind as I can and just focus on myself and be whole and complete within myself, and let him make his own decisions in his own time. I just don’t believe words like “I’m coming” , “this Monday”, “this Saturday” anymore.
Apparently they did Black magic on me, I couldn’t tell because alignment literally keeps you away from bad things as much as possible. Like yeah, there were times when my head hurt and I felt nauseaus and couldn’t get away from my bed, but the next day I was fresh and dandy, because ĺ rested and did what I had to do.
I’m sometimes wondering why people are so insane and cowardly and so different from me because I always have such high standards and expectations from myself, but what can I do? I let them be. I don’t care anymore, all I care about is that I feel good and let them solve it between themselves.
This was not the article I was planning to write, it was more of a love letter to him, however it turned into my frustration. His wife is evil, that is why we are not together. But no matter how evil somebody else is, if you have a spine you get to be assertive and not let them step on you, but he does. So all I’m saying is I let him do whatever he chooses, and I don’t involve myself anymore in their drama and his promises.
So that’s what it’s like to have a twin flame, people! Don’t purposefully go looking for this type of connection. It’s not worth it! If I could, I would give it up but the soul tie keeps us in telepathic communication. Right now she s expressing with all of the anger she can possibly utter she wishes this was not the case.
Well, when you will learn that life is not under your control, nor are other people, and yes you create your reality but soul contracts are sometimes unbreakable, when you make peace with what is you are happy. When you constantly push and fight against it, all you will do is lose. Her choice.
She has made me want to take my own life, that’s how insane she is and I got a reading that said we were enemies in a past life, so I’m guessing that’s why. All I know is me and my twin are meant to reconnect, have kids and get married one day, so I’m almost pitying her (no superior vibes here) because she struggles so much to keep us away but it’s inevitable.
Trust me, when I realized he has a wife and kids I did everything in my power to get rid of this connection, it was absolutely impossible. So I just ended up accepting that one day he will come knocking and that day I won’t be mad at him, I’ll just receive him with open arms even if it’s in 20 years. Her I have a problem with.
I feel like this is enough. I’m not going to write anymore. This is the stress I’m going through every day and somehow I always gracefully surpass it and keep aligned, no matter how many potions the witch makes.
Life is never easy, it’s how we handle the challenges. We might express our frustration, but then move on and try to think positive and find ways to feel good.
And in the TF journey, it’s all about relationship to Self. My relationship with myself is pretty great, so no matter what he brings me, I’m like yeaaah I’m just gonna do me. NEXT!!!
Sorry for the bitter and sassy post, I just needed to get it all out!
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